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Wednesday, June 16, 2010
if showing out will make you feel stress, i would rather hide it. i think of it, everytime, everyday. thinking all about you, just you. worry when you told me you are fine, worry when you told me you are sick. all these, are just because of you. i don't know who to tell, i don't even know who to express it all. i just sat down, being alone. stare in the air, being empty. i'm fine whenever surrounded by friends's care. but i'm back alone, staring in the air. smoking one stick and another. asking myself why. i need to quit smoking already. it seem like my illness is coming back for me. but i don't know how to numb myself without it. someone said i changed, i did not changed. that's how your brother are. i'm sorry if my attitude affected anyone of you who reading this. but, that's me. i just.. feel so lost. 1:33 AM
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